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Most likely, we all have had a pair of shoes that we loved. But try as we might, we just could not get them to fit comfortably. We would try a little dusting powder on our feet and in our shoes. Maybe silk socks or stockings — nope, they still would not fit. Over time, they became so uncomfortable we had to decide: put them away or simply keep putting up with the discomfort.
That scenario is similar to relationships. A relationship is how you are connected to another thing, place, person, etc. You may feel nostalgic about a specific piece of clothing or a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a particular place with which you have happy associations. But the relationships I am referring to are those with people: friends, family members, neighbors, companions, spouses and significant others.
As Christian believers, we know how we are to live — by imitating Christ in all that we do. So regardless of the relationship: masters and servants, husbands and wives, church members and neighbors — in each, Christ should be our model.
Easy to say, right? Peter gives us instructions to follow in 1 Peter 5:13: “To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ’s suffering and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers, being eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”
And to the younger generation, Paul said in 1 Peter 5:5-6: “Young men, in the same way, be submissive to those who are older. All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
We are to love each other profoundly and extend hospitality to all. Peter said in 1 Peter 4:8-10: “Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”
Relationships are vital to everything. Think about it: unplug the refrigerator, and it no longer cools; remove the head coach, and the team fails; cut the gas line, and the kitchen range will not work; without the head, the body dies.
The Apostle Paul gives us rules for Christian households in Colossians 3:18-21: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
There is a mutual responsibility to make a relationship work. It’s not 50/50 — it is 100% the duty and obligation of each entity. Always ensure your actions are right and fair — that you are accountable to your Master in Heaven. Paul said in Colossians 4:2: “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” We can never pray too much or too often.
The Bible gives us guidelines for bad relationships as well. In Romans 12:2, we read: ”Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” And again, in 1 Corinthians 15:33, Paul said, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” Don’t allow your relationships to lead you away from Christ or cause your faith to waiver.
News broadcasts are constantly filled with tragic news that involves one person in a relationship abusing or murdering another person. Who knows the evil that lurks in one’s heart to be able to take the life of another? Family members of the deceased often seek revenge for the wrongful death of their loved one; however, the Scripture is clear on how to deal with actions such as this. Romans 12:17-29 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Agape love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. 1 Corinthians, chapter 13 is only 13 verses but defines the meaning of love for us. Verses 4-7 are key: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Love, agape love, never fails.
Pat Throckmorton is a resident of Perquimans County.
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